02 - More Fun with Porn

One day, Bryan and Billy Barrett had stumbled upon a large stash of nudie magazines in Huber Park while riding their bikes to the swimming pool. They had gone biking along one of the back trails when Bryan had noticed the magazines peeking through the bushes. He stopped and got a better look.

As he dug through the weeds, he soon realized that the flesh tones were something more than "just another magazine." There were several magazines of all types. Swedish Roll was the name of the only magazine I can remember and it featured a lot of blondes in a variety of clothes and a variety of poses. They were painter’s helpers working on the inside of the house. In turn, the painter (who was the only male in the magazine) was working on them, with and without his painter’s tools. For some reason, they were also eating ice cream.

Needless to say, they missed their mouths and the scoops of ice cream fell onto the young Swedish girls’ breasts. Hurrah! Who said playing with your food isn't a whole heck of a lot of fun?

Bryan and Billy looked at the magazines for a few minutes before they stashed the magazines back inside the bushes and went to the Swimming Pool. As soon as they arrived, Bryan and I began talking about the magazines.

"Why didn't you bring ‘em?"

"I don't know. I didn't think of it."

"Let's go back and look!"

"Okay. Billy, you wanna go?"

Billy shook his head. He liked nudity, but thought it was all a bunch of nonsense. Luckily for me, Bryan thought porn was awesome.

We jumped on our mountain bikes and rode back to the scene of the grime. There they were, in all their glory. We sat there for a few hours, flipping through the magazines and staring at each and every page. Just before dark, Billy rode up with a few friends. He hadn't planned on showing the stash to anyone else, but everyone jumped off their bikes and dug in.

After the initial oohs and ahhs, Alex Vance tore a page out of his magazine.

“What are you doing?” asked Billy indignantly.

“Look at her! She’s beautiful.”

“Just leave it in the magazine.”

Before long, though, everyone was ripping pictures out of magazines and folding them into tiny squares to tuck into jean pockets. I took the blonde painter with the ice cream dropping problems and folded her picture in a neat rectangle. Unfortunately, I was only wearing a pear of shorts with an elastic waistband. I tucked her between my left shin and my white athletic sock. I thought about her naked white breasts and light pink nipples against my shin as I pedaled the whole way up Bartlett hill.

As soon as I arrived home, I threw my black and yellow Huffy on the ground and ran inside. I went into the restroom and locked the door behind me. I reached into my sock and peeled the thin folds of paper off the face of my shin. It peeled away gently. I opened it up and looked at it. The model's name was Raquel Jorgensen. A thin crease ran across her waist, just above her belly button. I stood up and pressed the picture flat against the bathroom wall. Then I ran it over the edge of the sink, trying to fix the creases in the page.

It was no use. I couldn’t fix what my own sweat had ruined. I looked at Raquel with awe. It was the first piece of porn I ever owned. But where should I hide it?

Just then, my sister knocked on the bathroom door.
"Hurry up!" she shouted. Without thinking, I tucked the picture behind the upright portion of the toilet basin and pretended to finish up in the restroom. I flushed the toilet and washed my hands before coming out.

That little nook became Raquel's personal hideout. I pulled her out and looked at her a bit while I pooped…or peed. That entire summer, I peed sitting down. I didn't want to waste a minute with my girl Raquel. After each time we spent together, I safely tucked her picture into its proper place. As school started, I forgot about Racquel altogether.

Sometime that winter, I reached behind the toilet and Racquel was gone. I never asked anyone where she went. I guess she moved out of town without leaving a forwarding address.

Regardless, it was probably better that way. That summer was the summer I figured out how to hold a girl’s picture with one hand and enjoy it with the other.

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